Adios, 2012!

It is officially the last day of the year, and we've got about 12 hours left until that ball drops. 2012 was not what I thought it was going to be, to say the least. We found out we were pregnant on January 26, 2012, and so looked forward to all the changes we were facing. We looked forward to tiny hands and tiny toes, diapers, mid night feedings, and doting over a sweet, and perfect little angel. Then on May 22, 2012, our world was shattered when we learned that our baby had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, a complex congenital heart defect affecting only 1 in 5,000. Then on September 27, 2012, we were blessed with the arrival of 7 pound, 10 ounce Wyatt Alexander Sauers. He was beautiful, and crying, and so were we. And we knew right that moment that HLHS or not, he was perfect. October 3, 2012 we endured the most painful day of our lives- handing our 6 day old son over for a major open heart surgery. October 24, 2012, we finally got to bring our baby home from the hospital. And aside from a one night PICU stay on December 16, 2012, home is where we remain.

We anticipated 2012 to be full of joys, and while it was, it was also full of the most painful moments of our lives. But, there isn't a damn thing I would change about 2012. Without that pregnancy, that diagnosis, the path we followed, we wouldn't have Wyatt. We wouldn't be watching Wyatt grow and learn, and we wouldn't be watching Austyn bond with his baby brother like he is. We wouldnt get to witness the wonder on Wyatts face while he watches Austyn. This entire journey has shown me that I am far stronger than I ever thought I was. It has taught me to be thankful every single day for my kids. To smile every day, at every chance. That even when things get tough- there is always something to smile about. That the odds are sometimes stacked against us, but we can do this! I am thankful for 2012, despite the pain and tears that came with it.

And so we move on to 2013. Wyatt will have his second open heart surgery in 2013, but hopefully, we will be able to get through that successfully, come back home, and lead a fairly normal life for a couple of years until Wyatt has his Fontan. Hopefully 2013 will bring us more joys, more smiles, more love.

Normally, on New Years Eve, I tell the current year to kick rocks, and hope for a better new year. But this year, I kindly say goodbye to 2012, with a smile and a wave, and welcome 2013 with open arms, in hopes that even though it too will bring tears, that it will bring even more happiness.