Patience is a virtue

We have now been in the hospital for 22 days. 22 long days. I am starting to get to the point where I am really, really ready to go home. But, I know that I have absolutely no control over this situation, and that we just have to wait until Wyatt's body is consistently doing the right things. I also think that part of my problem is that I have been go, go, go for 22 days. During the day, and every other night, I am at the hospital with Wyatt, jumping at his every noise, watching his monitors, being a heart mom. On the nights im not here, I am home with Austyn, and we're doing homework, taking showers, picking up the house, playing, etc. and I generally go to bed as soon as he does. I haven't taken much time for myself, with the exception of getting my hair done today. I think my brain is just ready for a break, and it knows that the big break it wants will be when we go home. Wyatt's doctor, one of the 5 intensivists that work in the PICU, just told me "we are just waiting to make sure his body keeps doing the right things. It could be a couple of weeks, it could be a couple of days. I think he is more in the couple of days range." so we are definitely getting there.

The biggest hurdle between the PICU and home is Wyatt's eating. He is doing TREMENDOUSLY well. He just ate about an hour ago, and he ate 43 of the 50 required cc's. He ate extremely well last night, and then not so great this morning, and ok this afternoon. We think we've figured out he likes a specific nipple, he likes his milk rather warm, and we can't cuddle him while he eats or he will fall asleep. This last feeding, I fed him in the bed, just propping him upright, and did a diaper change half way through to keep him awake and alert. As much as I want to hold and snuggle him, I think I will feed him in the bed again at 9, in hopes it has the same effect. Since they only had to give him 7 cc's via his NG tube, they only spent 10 minutes pushing that. So he will have a good 2.5 hours between the last time he ate and the next time he eats to build up some hunger.

The other aggravating thing lately has been my milk supply. I went from pumping 80 ish ml's per pump about a week after Wyatt was born, down to 50 for the last couple weeks, down to 20 yesterday. Since pumping is the only thing I can do to help Wyatt, it's very important to me, and I've been pretty down about my supply. I started drinking water like crazy, making sure I eat a good meal 3 times a day, and pumping every 3 hours. I also elongated the time I am pumping, in hopes of telling my body it needs to make more milk. Today has been better, and I have been producing numbers I am more used to seeing. Since Wyatt is eating around the clock now, it would be ideal if I could keep up with his needs at the least, and pump some extra for the freezer too. We will see how it goes, hopefully we're on track to fixing my supply.

I am simply exhausted. The past 22 days plus my healing c section incision and wound vac have tuckered me out. Wyatt will eat again in about an hour and a half, and then I am hitting the sack, so I can sleep until he eats at midnight.