My dad brought Austyn to see us at the hospital, and we had already talked to Wyatt's NICU nurse about bringing Austyn into the NICU to meet Wyatt. We were so excited to see Austyn, and to finally introduce Austyn to his little brother. When Austyn got here, he sniffled a few times, and DJ and I ended up deciding that because of those few sniffles, we shouldn't take Austyn into the NICU. So, we went walking down to see Wyatt, and I lost it. I was so heartbroken that Austyn wasn't going to be able to meet Wyatt. We got down to the NICU and the nurse asked where Austyn was. We told her what happened with the sniffles, and she asked if he was sick. We told her no, that he was not sick, and that he had been camping this weekend and had a campfire and we assumed that was where the sniffles had come from, but that we had decided not to risk bringing him in. She told us to go get him. So, I lost it again. This time, crying tears of joy, of course, that our boys would in fact be able to meet.
We went and got Austyn out of our hospital room and took him down. We explained to him how he needed to be quiet, and he couldn't mess with all the stuff in the NICU. He washed his hands with the nurse singing "Happy Birthday" to Wyatt as a way to make sure he washed his hands long enough. He got to see his baby brother for the first time (other than in pictures) and smiled a big old Austyn smile. I of course cried, again, at the sheer beauty of this moment.
Then, the nurse swaddled Wyatt, and got him out of his bed and put him in my arms for the first time in his life. Wyatt is only 3 days old, and I know that in the grand scheme of things, 3 days is not a long time. But when you are waiting to hold your son for the first time ever, and you know that there is a possibility that you will not get to hold him before he has open heart surgery, 3 days is a VERY long time. I finally had my baby in my arms. Cuddled up next to my body, able to feel his weight, his breathing, everything. I remember the first time I ever held Austyn, just minutes after he was born, but this was different. This was SO powerful, I think because of Wyatt's HLHS, and because I had to wait to long for this moment to come. Austyn stood next to me and watched Wyatt, and we made a few little jokes and things to make it more fun for Austyn. Babies aren't really all that exciting to kids, I know, so we tried to make things more entertaining for Austyn. Eventually, Austyn said that he was ready to go back to the hospital room, so DJ took him back upstairs while I continued holding Wyatt.
When DJ got back, we switched, and he got to hold Wyatt for the first time. He instantly cried as well. And he got his turn to just sit in the chair, and snuggle with Wyatt, and feel the weight of him in his arms.
The entire time we were holding Wyatt he was so awake and alert. His eyes were open, he was looking around, and looking at each one of us when we spoke. We told Austyn that our voices were familiar to Wyatt, and that he knew that we were his Mom, Dad, and Big Brother because he could hear us while he was in my tummy. It was so great to see Wyatt so alert and awake, since he is usually sleepy and when he does wake up, he isn't that alert. The nurse told us that us holding Wyatt would give him a large endorphin rush, and that it was really good for him to be held. She said that he may sleep for 8-12 hours after the encounter, because of all the endorphins and hormones that were released. She also said that my milk production would probably increase because of the encounter, because being so close to Wyatt like that had a huge affect on my hormones.
After we were finished, both DJ and I felt a huge high. The feeling was astronomical. It is almost unexplainable. We were both completely filled with joy. The only downside was that we were planning on eating some lunch with Austyn after we were finished with Wyatt, and when DJ came to bring Austyn back to the room, a couple more visitors had showed up, so my dad decided to just take Austyn home, and we didn't get to have lunch with Austyn like we had wanted to. I didn't get to say goodbye to him or tell him I love him before he left, so that left me a bit sad. The rest of our day was so crazy, we had visitors back to back the entire day, and we didn't get a chance to call Austyn, so I am now missing him like crazy. I plan to call him in the morning before he goes to school just so I can tell him I love him.
We ended our day with Wyatt, and I sat in the chair next to his bed for 45 minutes or so, just holding his hand, and watching him sleep. It was so peaceful to just be next to him, watching him.
It was such an amazing day, and a wonderful way to bond with both of our boys, who mean the world to us. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Tomorrow I am being discharged, and we are going to try to board at the hospital, so we can stay with Wyatt here until he gets transferred to the PICU after his surgery. Hopefully, we are able to do so, and aren't forced to go home each night. Fingers crossed it all works out.
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