Daddy

Since I am the one who posts our blogs, I don't want people to think that DJ isn't very involved in our family or anything. When I have rough days, I blog about them here. DJ Doesn't do that. He's sort of a typical guy, and just deals with it internally. He is hurting today, and I hope he knows that we support him, and that the hurt is to be expected.


DJ is, and continues to be, a wonderful father to Austyn, and will also be so for Wyatt. I wanted to share a letter that DJ wrote to us after we received Wyatt's diagnosis - for those of you who aren't friends with us on Facebook, or haven't read Wyatt's flyer:


"As the approaching storm draws near I gather my wits and prepare for battle. I know this is going to be a fight that will test my limits emotionally and physically. I put on my armor against this, knowing that it will crack during the onslaught. I am prepared for this, and when it does I will raise my shield and my sword and I will fight back with everything that I have. 
Wyatt you don’t know me yet and may not have even heard my voice. I PROMISE you that I will give you everything I have and then some to make sure you thrive. You will grow and become strong as I protect you until the time comes when you do not need me to protect you.
Austyn, I know you don’t really know what’s going on and why your mom and I are so sad these past few days. Know that we love you and we will continue to give you everything we have. I make a promise to you that you will never feel neglected or that we love Wyatt more than you. You are my first son and I love more that you know.
Sahra I love you so much. I will be your mountain through all of this. I will do whatever it takes to make sure you three are taken care of. My armor will crack more than once during this fight and I will need your loving embrace to strengthen my armor and sharpen my sword.
My promises are made, my armor is on, and my sword is sharp so as of now I am ready for the approaching storm."

It's almost like we take turns. I had a terrible day yesterday. I had a lot of hurt yesterday. A lot of stress, and worry, and sadness. And DJ is having some of those struggles today. I can't even put into words what it is like anticipating the birth of a very sick little boy - and we've only been at it a month. I would never wish this pain and worry on anyone, because some days, it is borderline unbearable.