More reality

The other day when we saw our cardiologist, we made our next appointment to see him at 32 weeks. This visit is to take place at their downtown office which is located at the hospital we will be delivering at. This will allow us to meet our surgeon, as well as tour the campus, and meet the nicu and picu staff. When I spoke to the surgeons office on the phone about these appointments, the lady said they would be sending us some pamphlets and things in the mail. We received that package today.

Really, most of the information in this package is very helpful. They included a little book which is something to the tune of a Parents Guide to Heart Defects. In it, they give a ton of information about not only HLHS, but other CHD's as well. The book was well written, it gives the medical information we want to know, but takes it from super smart doctor speak to average joe speak, without boring us to death. It gives details on the Norwood procedure as well as the hybrid procedure, and a small amount of information on steps 2 and 3 as well. It also shows us a much more clear and realistic picture of the medical issues Wyatt faces, and how some of those would be treated.

The package also has information about the hospital itself, information on how to prepare your child and his or her siblings for surgery, what to bring to the hospital, and the guidelines set forth for the picu. Which, by the way, state that only DJ or I may stay the night in the picu with Wyatt, not both of us. It also states that Austyns visits have to be pre-arranged through Wyatt's nursing team, and that there are no visiting hours for DJ or I. It does not say how these rules differ from those of the nicu, so we will have to find that out when we go down there in August.

I am super thankful to have all this information, but it is forcing us to deal. In the end, I think this is a good thing. I tend to deal in increments. Some moments, I am dealing, and some moments, I am forcing myself to think about other things. Having all of this information at my finger tips helps to force me to make it real 100% of the time. And since we are only 15 weeks away from our due date, and may be induced 1 - 2 weeks before that, it is probably a good idea for me to force my brain to start thinking a bit differently.

When we met with our cardiologist, we talked briefly about having Austyn and Wyatt, and how we were planning on a rotating schedule: one night, DJ would spend the night at the hospital, the next night, I would, and the other would be home with Austyn. We talked about only having Austyn come visit at the hospital on Wyatt's better days, when it would be easier for Austyn to stomach the situation. And we briefly spoke about the costs and financial implications of such a serious medical condition. He told us that while this isn't a situation we can really prepare for, we are thinking through the right things. This gives me tremendous hope. It helps me feel better about myself as a mom- like I am doing this correctly- if that is even possible.

While today has been a very realistic day, I am happy to report that it hasn't been a terrible day. Maybe I am finally getting to the point where facing reality doesn't take away my ability to function as a human. Maybe.