An uplifting day

The past week or so has been fairly rough. Since Austyn has returned to school, starting the 1st grade last week, he has been one little stinker at home. Everything has been a bit on edge, he has been very argumentative, homework has been a fight, he has been defiant...the works. And it has been absolutely exhausting. I know that this is a phase, and is most likely related to the fact that he just started back at school, but while it lasts, it's been tiresome. 

Then we had our rough appointment at the OB last Friday, instilling more fear into us. Top that off with some work stress; DJ was working lots of overtime last week, in preparation for the big wigs to come through, and we have been having lots of technical difficulties in my office that I have to fix, making for long days. Nothing alone has been terrible really, it's just been the combination of everything that has been so very overwhelming.

Last night and tonight, Austyn has been better. Homework hasn't been nearly as much of a fight (I think after we've told him 100 times that if he would actually try, it wouldn't be nearly as bad, and wouldn't take long at all because he is smart and he can do it, he has finally figured out that applying himself to the homework is easier than farting around and whining for an hour pretending he doesn't know how.) He hasn't been as argumentative, and I think that he isn't quite as tired. I knew going into first grade that it would take him a while to adjust to being in school all day rather than just the half day he had in Kindergarten. It has been a lovely reprieve from fighting with him consistently, and feeling like all we do is yell at him. Even though it's only been a little over a week of this change in behavior - I have so much missed the fun, smiling, laughter filled evenings with my little boy. 

After last week's appointment, we now approach each appointment with the knowledge that my AFI could be lower, or something could be up with Wyatt's heartbeat, and that we may find ourselves in the hospital before we know it. This is how I went into today's appointment, just hoping that my AFI hadn't gone down, and hoping to stay out of the Labor and Delivery unit for now. 

Our non-stress test went perfectly! Our NP said that the results were "perfect" and that everything looked beautiful. She was extremely happy with Wyatt's movement. He was very, very active while we were on the monitor, and she loved that. We told her that our biggest concern was my AFI, because we had been following that so closely for the past couple of months. So, we checked it, just for our comfort mainly. Wyatt looked great, and our fluid levels were UP to a 11.7, which is over 2 cm higher than it has been in months! I was ecstatic. This was better news that I had even imagined hearing.

It was uplifting, to see that even though we have had a few set backs (minor as they are), we can move forward as well. With only 5 weeks left until that magic 39 week mark, we are doing everything we can to make sure Wyatt stays in there and grows. And at the same time, we are trying to keep me out of the hospital, and make sure that I can continue working as long as possible. We don't want to lose my income before we have to, especially since we already have medical bills from all the appointments we attend, and we want to stay on top of those until we absolutely can't.

Today I feel good. Today is one of those days where I feel like we can do this - even though it is going to be hard. I don't feel utterly defeated today, which is nice. I just hope that we can continue to have days like this, even if they aren't all the time, to show us that there is hope, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.